Web 2.0

AOL to Google: “You’re Awesome … I Hate You!”

New here? Subscribe to my RSS feed so you don't miss a sarcastic thing in tech news

In a quixotically passive aggressive email a few days ago, AOL expressed its best wishes and congratulations on several new, and not-so-new features in Google’s email product “Gmail”. The sarcastic and incredibly douchy piece of work comments on employing gadgets and SMS into its streamlined interface, all the while remarking about how “awesome” and “fabulous” it is, given how AOL included such features “eons ago, while the internet was in its infancy, and Google was just a brainfart in the minds of a couple stoner undergrads.”

This blog commentary is just the latest in a series of passive aggressive missives sent by email, newsletter, and anonymous phone calls, detailing the depths of self-loathing that AOL has had for itself. Beginning with Yahoo in 2003 and the infamous “you’re an awesome portal … bitch!”, but more recently focusing on Google and, of course, Facebook, for those in the Valley, AOL is really only known for one thing these days: pity.

“Its hard knowing that you were once the top of the heap”, quoted an ousted AOL executive “and now what are you? How important are you? Somewhere between looksmart and toelint. It hurts, y’know?”

With AOL executives throwing everything trendy and “social” at the wall, in hopes that it sticks, there’s still an element of “what could have been”, and “I can’t believe these poseurs are BETTER than us” still prevails.

With the Hallowe’en season ending, Digg’s executives are looking forward to the annual AOL Thanksgiving message which, savvy media watchers say, should be targeting them. Insiders say that the public should look forward to their usual wishes of charity, thanksgiving, and the importance of sharing the bounty. And of course, how “awesome” it was that Digg is “sharing” all of their features it stole all from Netscape Propeller, but how Netscape Propeller doesn’t need any help, because its just cool enough on its own, thank you very much.

© 2008 TekPopuli.