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Seinfeld Ads To Stay, “Painfully Awkward The Perfect Message!”
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Jerry Seinfeld in his younger, funnier daysAlthough widely panned by critics and pundits everywhere, it seems like the painfully awkward and intensely obtuse ads for Microsoft featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates will continue. There was some word earlier in the week that they might be scuttled, but, at a news conference today, to the bafflement of media mavens everywhere, a Crispin Porter spokesman Jill McDonald went on to confirm that advertisements which “made sense” simply weren’t congruent with the Microsoft brand.
“When people are asked what Microsoft means to them, the answers are obvious really. Confusion. Awkwardness. A sense that someone just spent a ton of money and is working really hard to impress you but … failing. These are all attitudes that people associated with Microsoft.”
Ms. McDonald went on to say the ads with comedian and funnyman Jerry Seinfeld were in “perfect brand congruence” with the Microsoft brand. “They’re incredibly expensive and powerfully unfunny at the same time. The ads make you want to shriek ‘what the hell is this supposed to be about.’ Well, if that’s not Microsoft we don’t know what is.”
Bill Gates is also scheduled to appear in more ads with other popular has-beens including Lisa Kudrow, who played “Phoebe Buffay” on Friends, as well as David Faustino, who of course played “Bud Bundy” on Married with Children.
“We’ve also scored Kim Kardashian, who, we recognize, isn’t quite a has-been”, Ms. McDonald went on to conclude. “However, in focus groups it was clear that the talentless hackery she tries to masquerade as acting was just cringeworthy enough that … well, I think you’ll agree its a little bit of inspired genius to align her with the Microsoft brand, don’t you?”
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