The new picture of VC funding in Silicon Valley?
Photo courtesy of 419eaters.com
With the enormous downturn that the US economy is facing, its no surprise that the effects are finally being felt in Silicon Valley. Amidst a drying up of liquidity around the world and massive rounds of layoffs at “blue-chip” stalwarts like Yahoo, startups are finding it harder than ever (with the exception of lolcats, perhaps) to find the support and backing behind their projects as Venture Capitalists circle their wagons. What was surprising, this week, however, was to hear of another group of investors in the wings eager to take advantage of the know-how south of the Bay: Nigerian Scam Artists.
Yes, in ironic turn, Nigerian Scam Artists have found that their own business model has seemed to weather the global recession quite nicely. With jobless rates and house foreclosures skyrocketing in the US, there is no shortage of rubes, marks, and the otherwise easily-taken-advantage-of. Nigeria, in return, is noticing a massive boom in the scam trade, with local pundits suggesting that the black market GDP in ill-gotten gains has jumped about 3000% in the past two months alone, with the growth projected to continue unabated for another 18-24 months.
While many of these self-styled “Kings of the Internet” have spent a great deal of their newly found loot on the usual combination of wine, women and song (and, unfathomably, pomegranates and cocoa beans), some enterprising individuals have pooled their cash, and are looking to grow their investments with a predictable rate of return, with their vehicle of choice being investing, and taking a significant stake in, high-growth web-technology companies — with the object, of course, to defraud and fleece the American public in higher numbers than ever thought possible, but in a way that leaves it impossible to trace. Nigerian scam artists, it seems, have seen the advantages of the Venture Capitalist model to grow their wealth.
Its not clear when these new VC groups are planning to make their intentions known. Its thought that at least three of them distinct entities are planning to descend on the Silicon Valley in an exploratory effort with as much as $700 million dollars worth of capital between them. Its difficult to know what effect these will have on the latest social networking sites, web, Facebook, and iPhone applications, (or if they will start their own blogs), but one thing’s for sure: all early adopters should expect to see an overwhelming volume of email requesting their help with transferring sums between $20 – $80 million dollars into their bank account for safe keeping — as long as they send their bank information.
Not to be out done, many Venture Capitalist firms in Silicon Valley are ironically looking eastwards (or westwards, past China) towards places like Nigeria, as the lure of durable quadruple digit growth is a virtual siren song to the insatiable appetites of institutional investors.
“We know its not really quite legal what they’re doing over there, but quite frankly, there’s only one place in the world where these kinds of competencies are groomed and grown”, said an anonymous source. “You just can’t teach that kind persistence and deviousness in the States — or really, anywhere else in the world. Its true, the kind of business they’re conducting is in a morally gray zone, but they’ve got a business model nailed down, their overhead is virtually nil, and the local laws are so lax and forgiving they make anything possible. We’d be crazy not to put a little money down there — you know, just to try it out. ”
